Decisions Decisions


Rocky roads come as a part of human living, we laugh, we cry, we love, we hate. It's like a nonstop dirt road full of sticks, stones, forks and other obstacles determined to steer you in the wrong or maybe the right direction. When you come to an fork in the road, deciding which direction to go can alter your life in UN-imagined ways. The process of decision making for me can be very difficult at times because it could mean losing out or letting go of something or someone that is important; It also means that the people I love will be affected in one way or another.                                                        

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One of the biggest decisions I've had to make thus far was in 2015 when I quit a decent job to pursue a full time career as a visual artist. I struggled with that decision for quite some time because I was always taught that a job and steady income was important. I have two children to care for and it is nearly impossible to provide necessities without a regular stream of income. Was it realistic to think that I could really make money creating art? I'm not dead after all and the trending rumor is that artists (specifically painters) only make money after they die. Now I had to worry about where the money was going to come from to feed my family, pay bills and keep a roof over our heads because I am human first. Thank God for my younger brother who was very supportive of this decision because a-lot of financial weight was going to fall on his shoulders by me doing so. He made the decision along with the rest of my family to support me in my endeavor.

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It was very different for me to step out of the matrix and go against the grain. This was a decision based solely on faith. I will confess, my children have not gone hungry, we have a roof over our heads and always will, and I have steady work. I'm not rich (by financial standards) but I have all I need when I need it. I've had to let go of relationships and friendships that just were not healthy for me or my children. Relationships with other people are necessary in life but you need to learn discernment to decide which ones are a reason, season or a lifetime. I've had to sacrifice much of my social life in order to maintain the strong work ethics that were embedded through my bloodline. My children and family don't get as much time as I would like to give them and I don't spend nearly as much time with myself as I would like to either.

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Whether it's a friendship, marriage, or family relationship, my career has definitely been a learning curve. I sacrifice so much energy into my "Gift" that I sometimes lose valuable time with those I love or have to let go of someone I think is hindering my process, some people may think it's selfish but when has it not been a little selfish to grow into your own? I know I cannot make everyone happy and I've learned that is not my job. My job right now is to help people transform and grow through art with the hope that it will be a valuable experience for everyone involved. Be mindful of your decisions, they will always show up ready to challenge you just when you thought you were done. Not everyone is going to agree with what you decide, find peace with that.